Cut it Off, Let it Go: They Can’t Be Your Friends No Mo’!
We are in the second month of twenty “great-teen” as I’ve seen and heard so many say, and some of you are tackling new dreams and goals! Many are stepping out on faith, and outside their comfort zones to start new businesses and pursue old dreams. *raises hand* Some are trying to get it right and extra tight for summer *raises both hands* while others are working on balancing work, selfcare, motherhood, being a sister, daughter, friend, mother, wife etc. It’s a journey that requires major customization for each one of us and our own individual situations but there’s one key constant that remains…having the right support system!
Sometimes we grow, evolve and the stuff that used to meet our needs and help us propel just no longer works and there is NOTHING wrong with that. We are ever changing, ever evolving and sometimes in the midst of that process we find ourselves drifting from the things and people we once thought would always be there to lend support and even push us closer to our goals but instead of acknowledging it, we just hold on to a friendship that’s run its course, after numerous sit downs and failed attempts to reconnect, only to find ourselves sea salt salty when it’s all said and done. Often times when we choose to set aside fear and run like hell after what excites us most, it’s members of our core group that will separate themselves. They’ll go from, “Oh that’s an awesome idea!” to “Why are you trying to do so much?” If your “friends” are silent when you win…CUT. THEM. OFF! If they subtly try to silence your dreams with negativity and discouragement, now I’m not talking about real questions and cold hard facts that help push you forward in the most realistic way to prepare you and set a plan in place for the bumps ahead (Because there will be bumps, sis!) but if they’re silent, negative or an unfortunate combination of both, ma’am get like Elsa and LET IT GO! It’ll hurt at first but it will get better. You will BE better! Someone can be a good person and just NOT be a good person for YOU…and then some people are just plain toxic. Either way, neither are worth you extended time. Accept it for what it is before things go awry, press on with an open mind and heart to receive new connections/ friendships and move on so you can continue to flourish (With your beautiful self!) without all the weeds.
Life is too short! There’s no need to add extra weight that isn’t going to help you prosper in life. Priorities change and once your friend no longer makes it a priority to support you in any way (Because support comes in various forms!) and you’ve had a heart to heart only to find the same patterns repeating, bow out gracefully and sashay on knowing that connection has run its course and they won’t be featured in the next life chapter. *Kanye shrug* The worst mistake we can make as women following our dreams, in a world full of naysayers, unequal pay and piss poor social media “#GOALS” examples, is to force a connection that has run its course.
P.S. Real friends do real things!