Feel Sexy After Marriage & Motherhood

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Finding and asserting femininity is an ultimate sign of womanhood. Getting married, having kids, losing it and finding it again can be a daunting task for most. The responsibilities a wife, and the mental and physical changes that occur with motherhood can leave even the most confident woman in an unfamiliar space. Ultimately, finding your way back to the self you once knew is possible. Things may not ever be exactly the same, but feeling sexy after marriage and motherhood is definitely possible.


Sex while dating is fun, flirty, sometimes daring, but most of all it’s passionate. Sex during marriage is still fun, at times, but can easily seem obligatory due to the expectations that come with “I do”. Those expectations usually fall under the assumption that marriage equals submission no matter what. Virtually losing  control of the use of your own body takes adjusting. However, determining how frequent your spouse wants sex and finding a compromise is possible. A big part of marriage is compromise.

Once both parties have settled into that routine, you’re most likely pregnant. Babies are adorable, but pregnancy and labor hurt. Ever experience living with a roommate? If the thought of sharing a home space with someone is hard for you, imagine sharing your body. Mothers who breastfeed can share their body for an upwards of two plus years. 

Most of the caregiving will fall on you (the mom), but you didn’t make your baby alone and men can handle it, so don’t be afraid to leave your baby with Dad for an hour or two. This will allow you time to rest, have a mani and pedi, and give you time to busy something comfortable to slip into.

Be strategic and prep all day for the night you want to have. With infants and small children it’s totally realistic to split your day out and work in stages. This will prevent rushing to do everything at once. This may also be the time to accept the fact that night time may not be the right time anymore. If baby sleeps from 5:30 to 8 whether it’s AM or PM, make the time work. Get it in!

There will be times that it’s not even about sex. Sometimes you just want to feel sexy. Curl your hair, throw on some makeup, matching/sexy underwear, and something cute and comfy. Relax and your husband to simply feel your presence. Cuddle together, or take part in your favorite pastime together; watch a movie, play cards, workout, or cook and enjoy dinner. Watch porn, explore sex toys, sext, send notes to one another. Request a foot massage or back rub. Anything that makes you feel like you is a reasonable request.

There will be work to do and that might include therapy, but ultimately bringing sexy back after marriage and motherhood is quite possible. It has more to do with the expectations and limitations mentally attached to wives and mothers than the situation itself.


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